Deputation:What is that?
Like many people, you may be wondering what in the world I am even talking about. This is completely understandable. If you are Baptist, you have probably at least heard about it.
Simply put, deputation is when a person or family believes they are called to the mission field and sets about raising the money to go. This involves traveling from church to church telling them about your burden for some other part of the world. If that church feels like this is something they would like to support, then they donate funds to you on a monthly basis. You continue doing this until your funds are raised and you leave for this foreign land (whether domestic or international.)
I probably slaughtered that definition, but this is the general idea.
Here is where I’d like to share some funny stories and insights into this time of our life. So grab some popcorn and read and relax, or if you are a fellow missionary, grab a pen and paper.
GOD should give special rewards to the creators of Magic Eraser
Have you ever had one of those days when everything is going perfectly? With small children, I cast a weary eye on these days, because something generally goes awry.
So it was with this fateful day!
Act1: Silence is golden: unless you’re the parent of a small child
While on the road, the churches we visit generally put us up in people’s homes or in hotels. For this instance, we were in a hotel. It was quaintly decorated, and the kids were happily occupying themselves. Perfect time to get ready in the bathroom right?
My little angel decided to grab the hotel pen and draw on the paper.
Here’s a math problem: 1 3yr old + 1 very cheap hotel pen +an extreme amount of pressure while writing=?
You guessed it, an exploded pen. Meanwhile, I am peacefully getting ready for the day. I should probably add at this point that my son doesn’t like dirty hands. So what does a 3 yr with black hands do, well wipe it on the furniture of course.
I saunter out to check on my QUIET son
and discover the 3yr old version of the BP oil spill.
O no! The church is going to think we’re horrible people destroying the room like this! ( You can judge me, but it was my first thought.)
Panic mode! Next is the obligatory “uh, honey” to inform your husband of the impending crisis. Upon my husband’s arrival, we had our son reaching for the sky like he stole something.
ACT 2:The Bathroom
My husband hurriedly ushered aforementioned son into the bathroom and promptly shut him in. Problem solved!
Guess what stains like hotel furniture…hotel toilet seats and bath tubs. Talk about making a bad situation worse.
Upon opening the door, my husband and I found black handprints on the toilet lid and the sink and the bathtub. FUN!
Intermission: a commercial for Magic Eraser
You know all of those times Murphy’s Lawgets in the way of life. The despair the stain will stay there. Enter the Magical Genie called the magic eraser. I don’t know how it manages to make things disappear faster than David Copperfield but it does.
Act 3: When a bald guy is my best friend…
When we left the scene, hotel room 555 was a horrible crime scene with the death a valiant hotel pen brutally displayed on the furniture and in the bathroom. The suspect was apprehended and placed in solitary confinement for his crimes. All that was left was crime scene cleanup.
Who would come to our aid? A nice bald man we like to call, Mr Clean.He and his friends at Proctor & Gamble research labs created an amazing device called the Magic Eraser. Promptly, we took advantage of this miraculous tool and began to scrub furiously at the carnage. Miracles of miracles, it came off right away.
With the room fully restored, we could rest easy again. We were going to be a good missionary family once more. 🙂
Additional fact: Hotels that value their property should not buy cheap pens.